Tired of eating bland, low-fat foods? Just try my diet and you’ll never have to eat low-fat foods ever again! It’s called the get-your-fat-ass-off-the-couch-and-exercise diet.

Sorry for the language. My mouth hurts so bad I’ve had tunnel vision for the last couple of hours, and I just realized I bought low-fat yogurt instead of regular. I don’t eat anything low-fat. Heck, I only drink whole milk. If you get your fat butt away from those horrible reality shows on TV to exercise for a few minutes every day, you can eat whatever the hell you want. Everyone say it with me: E-X-E-R-C-I-S-E.

Update – Apparently I’m not the only one that feels people need to exercise. Somebody has tapped into the wireless frequency of a Burger King drive-through speaker, and have been telling people they don’t need the food because they’re too fat. Full story here.

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